It doesn’t matter where I am… because I’m already there.

Martin Luther King, Jr. in April 1968, a few days before he was killed, in a speech said “he had been to the mountaintop and seen the other side. I may not get there with you, but…” Wasn’t he imploring us to be in the presence of consciousness. To open the door of illumination within ourselves… that it was from this place we act in the presence of our better angels. To understand and accept who we really are. In the present, isn’t this what we see today with the response in St Louis and elsewhere to feelings of inequality and its response, i.e. taking a knee. One gets the feeling that MLK spent his life taking a knee in prayer hoping mankind would simply see others as they see themselves. He is seen here in Selma, Alabama in 1965.

Seeing this, do we have the convenience of remaining in the background, not recognizing who we are and our own role? To somehow see beyond what blocks our own vision of the mountaintop and move ourselves and others to higher ground that defines transformation and enlightenment within each of us.

Joseph Campbell told us to put ourselves in situations that will evoke our higher nature, rather than our lower. To elevate yourself out of the local field and put yourself in the field of higher power, higher danger. To follow our bliss. And in doing so are you going to be able to handle it? If you are not eligible for this place into which you’ve put yourself, it’s going to be a demon marriage, it’s going to be a real mess. If you are eligible, it can be a glory that will give you a life that is yours, in your own way. It’s the edge, the interface between what can be known and what is never to be discovered, because it is a mystery transcendent of all human research. The source of life: what is it? No one knows. Campbell added that it’s important to live life with a knowledge of its mystery and of your own mystery, as it gives life a new zest, a new balance, a new harmony to do this. That it is in discovering our own source that we come closer to discovering that mountaintop experience for ourselves.

Almost twenty-five years ago when I wrote my own version of the I Ching now called The I Ching/Voices of the Dragon (found on my website), my entire life changed. I had moved to Massachusetts and was ten to twelve miles from the original homestead where my father’s family had settled over a hundred years earlier from Italy. Returning to the source representing my family’s own history. What was the outcome? After losing my job there, it was that I learned that “it was not where I am that was important, but who I am.” And that finding and returning to my own source that was the most important thing. Ram Dass came along at the time and relayed that “the person we are from nine-to-five is not who we are from five-to-nine”, and conveying that I would not find it where I was. That what we do (a doctor, city planner, pharmacist, teacher, etc.), is not who we are as a person. As if our life experiences are meant to move us in stages to that higher realm once we wake up to what the meaning of “finding our higher selves” is all about. It’s not simply a sudden aha moment that changes us.  It’s what we do after we change direction midstream in our lives that matters. That what we do becomes emblematic of who we are yet to become, and we simply spend our time learning to do and express that. It’s that mountaintop moment and seeing the other side that moves us to our own awareness and enlightenment as MLK, and many others, have implored us to find and do for ourselves. For myself ultimately, expressing that and coming nearer to the source, the who am I, that would be found half the world away in China. As if the universe had gotten my attention. The dragons of ancient China were calling me. Now what was I going to do about it.

Next, it was leaving Massachusetts and moving to Florida for a new job and exploring what it all meant. After twenty years that led to writing several hundred thousand words and discovering the meaning of the I Ching, studying the writings of Lao, Chuang, and Lieh Tzu, Taoism, Buddhism, Confucius, etc., founding the Kongdan Foundation, what I learned was – it was as if there was an innate connection that I had tapped into of what I had always known but simply forgotten. That what I wrote was who I was to become and where I went in China served to solidify I was home and what had always been my ultimate “source”, and to where I was to ultimately return… As if it doesn’t matter where I am because I’m already there. That the true “source” of this “who am I”, lies intrinsically with combining this idea of who and where we are. Traveling to China almost fifty times now, living and teaching in Qufu, I can see the process of self-discovery led me to re-discover my source again. As if returning now to the Ozarks where I grew up and lived is like coming full circle, like having a walk through prior to a final unveiling that leads me to the present. To live and appreciate each moment knowing ultimately to where I will return.

#32 October 13 

To be found resting in the Clouds with Dragons

A year ago, this month I spent some time on Huangshan Mountain in China. Huangshan Mountain, also known as Yellow Mountain, is one of the most famous mountains in Taoism. I have been to Qingyang Mountain near Chengdu, Mount TaiShan near Qufu, and now Huangshan Mountain in Anhui. All three have been favorite places for Taoists for thousands of years. As if the higher one could reach here on earth, the more likely you could get the attention of and converse with God, or the angels, or in China, where the angels have been historically referred to as dragons. To find yourself on the top of a mountain above the clouds is about as close as one can get to heaven here on earth. To actually become one with them, find our inner voice, the meaning of transcendence and re-discover who we are along the way. To come to know where our strengths and our weaknesses lie.

Next, I have attached an original composition and interpretation of the Chinese Classic the I Ching (1 HEAVEN / Heaven over Heaven) that I wrote in February, 1994.

Cloud Dancing

From the clouds dragons appear to those who have prepared. To the I Ching, heaven is to found residing with dwellings of dragons who roam the sky resting in the clouds.

View from the Top of Huangshen Mountain

Do not look for me where you have found me before.  You will not see me where you have seen me before. Dancing in the clouds with the immortals is where I am to be found.

To be seen with dragons. Cavorting above it all. Beyond earthly endeavors.  A strong personality who with compassion and caring succeeds by seeing his destiny in the clouds.

Finding the Tao, finding oneness and finding myself floating across the ski with chi. Cloud dancing across the sky is easy – living with dragons is not. A group of dragons are seen riding the clouds disappearing through the sky. As we disappear, I look back and see dragons resting on clouds dwelling in the sky. ##

 Huangshen Mountain in Anhui

My first trip to China would not be until more than three years later in May 1997 when we adopted our first daughter (Katie). 

Map of Qingsheng Mountain in Sichuan Province

There’s a feeling you get when you are here above the clouds on these mountains that you find nowhere else. As if it’s easy to find yourself above earthly concerns because you are no longer attached to them. These mountains are where Taoist icons Lao, Chuang, and Lieh Tzu and others gained their voice and were to become known as dragons in Chinese history and culture. This detachment from self is the central theme of understanding the purpose of what was to become known as being in the silence, visualization, and meditation common in most religions. For the Taoist, it is about as close to finding one’s purpose and home as you can get. In Chinese history dragons became known as protectors and became the ultimate metaphor, or symbol of the emperor, who was to become the personification of deity on earth.

When I first began writing in 1993 my moniker or name given to me was Cloud Dancing. Finding myself as one with dragons above the clouds… above earthly endeavors… and here I am over twenty years later above the clouds at home on Huangshan Mountain with Chuang Tzu. As if I am here for a full accounting of where I have been over the interim and more importantly where I am going with all this and if I am ready to make the  pivot. Could it be the transformation is complete? That coming forward, seeing and knowing the other side, was essential to the pivot Chuang Tzu stressed over two thousand years ago when he was alive (200 -250 BC). Chuang Tzu was the perfect foil who contradicted the orthodoxy of the Confucians at the time who argued for the status quo. Chuang Tzu has always been seen as the champion of questioning what was real or not, and where truth may lie.   As if right and wrong can only be determined by who can make the better argument. He was renowned for his brilliant wordplay and use of parables to convey messages. Uncovering what today would be called “fake news”. His critiques of Confucian society and historical figures were considered as humorous and at times ironic. His ideas expressing the role of the “Perfected Man” played a significant role in defining what was to become our place in society.

In March 1994, I wrote the following that appears later in the same book as the entry above-entitled Cloud Dancing. An American journey through the I Ching and Beyond was published in China in 2004.

As Chuang Tzu’s Perfected Man

As Chuang Tzu’s Perfected Man begins by abandoning the ways of the world, you begin by simply letting go of that which is not significant to the Tao. As you are now seen traveling with old friends who guide you along an unknowable path or way. Just as the dragons would have it, they are pleased.

Eternal sacrifice made to capture the moment knowing everything rests on your finding and staying on the road yet to be traveled.  Searching for immortality and freedom to go where few have gone before.

Hua Pagoda Xian Old City

Just as a sage would find the true reality of all things. Always leading the way. Knowing that the Tao is everywhere to be found by simply looking and understanding what is and finding one’s own standard within the oneness of virtue.

Eternity existing forever both before, now and yet to come. As you continually search for your place in the overall scheme of things. With a comfort known as something done repetitively over and over again. A great sense of satisfaction that all becomes and is second nature.

Remain simply within the oneness of everything and pursue nothing ethereal as the reclusive sage. Complete with the knowledge of the Tao and understanding what it means. Remember from where you have come. As we are here to remind you of where you will return with us. Everything is here within yourself to rediscover and relearn. Keep to the open road as the Perfected Man and know immortality can only follow.  4/12/94                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

Above the clouds on Huangshan Mountain

I came to Anhui unsure of what I would find or if I would meet with Chuang Tzu on the mountains of Huangshan, who I consider a mentor. But living in spontaneity creates the essence of what true living is all about. It becomes wu wei. When you revert to your cosmic essence in total humility realizing your own nothingness and life itself becomes totally forgetful. You become rooted in the nature of things, full of life and awareness.

What is this sense of awareness that we don’t often address until we reach what we feel is our end. It is that we wish we’d had the courage to live a life true to ourselves, not the life others expected of us. That we wish we hadn’t worked so hard at doing things outside our true selves. That we had the courage to express our feelings to those important to us. That we had stayed in touch with our friends, and finally that we had let ourselves be happier. It is the clearing out of debris in our lives so that we can with good heart move on to our ability to see beyond the mountaintop when we have arrived.

Often referred to by others as having mindfulness, or as Joseph Campbell would say, you have come to a place where you can begin to find your bliss. Or better said I think when you rise above transcendence and become just you. You may say that one does not need to be above the clouds on a mountain to understand this, but you must be in a place where you are truly at peace and home with yourself. To a place where there are no distractions. There are many great sages and Taoists, who over the centuries have left all earthly attachments behind to live on these mountains in a reclusive lifestyle to be nearer to nature and the Tao. They have come, seen the other side, and decided to stay. But with this cosmic understanding of the ultimate pivot along with a deep personal sense of the meaning of wu wei, comes an acknowledgement of why we are truly here, and once found we come to know our purpose.  It is as if here atop Huangshan Mountain with my mentor Chuang Tzu alongside, he is telling me to take the great leap and truly learn how to fly.

#33  October 25, 2017

Are we living in Illusion?

The great metaphors from all spiritual traditions — grace, liberation, being born again, awakening from illusion — testify that it is possible to transcend the conditioning of our past and do a new thing. — Sam Keen in Hymns to an Unknown God.

To live beyond the fear of what we think we cannot control. To be in command of our own destiny. Are we here just marking time, or is there an ultimate or universal plan to it all? It is to me our greatest challenge. Do we build walls around our thoughts to keep others out, or find comfort from what we think we know from within? Perhaps we are to simply live within what we ultimately know, but forgotten. To remain as if the earliest shaman as he looked to the stars for clues as to what could possibly be known and to what could never be known. To be conditioned by our memories and be challenged to find the spontaneity to do new things. Before returning for the sake of what our ancestors, the ancients, once taught us.

In Taoism, there is even something called Upper Heaven and Lower Heaven and living within the grace we have always known. But that’s a story for another day. For now, I want to follow what is found in my own version of the Book of Lieh Tzu that is entitled, My Travels with Lieh Tzu, in it I wrote the following as a preface…

Beginnings

 It is said that each of us is granted two lives, the life we learn with and the life we live after that. To perchance awaken midstream in our lives, as if we have been re‑born; given an opportunity to find and follow our true destiny and endeavor. That our ultimate task is not only to discover who we are but where we belong in history. Is not this the ultimate challenge? To simply rise up, traveling as one with the prevailing winds. Becoming one with the angels, or dragons, as they manifest before us. Letting our spirit soar. Freeing our mind, heart, and soul to go where few dare to wonder.

I know my task as a writer will be complete when my writing is as indefinable as my subject. Just as I know my task as an individual, as I exist in the here and now, will be to simply tell the stories that I have learned along the way. That we each have a story to tell. As we free ourselves of attachments and ego and baggage we have clung to as we try to find our way. That the ultimate travel is the travel of our spirit. That the ultimate giving is to share our gift with others. To become one with the ages. To bring forth the stories, myths and legends that tell the way. To stay interested in life, as I am in reality here only for an instant before moving on.

My task only to look for constant renewal. Finally, true expression of self is in losing myself through expressing the voices of the past. That I am here to relay that the fears and hopes of humanity rest not in where we find ourselves in the here and now, but in reality, to find and reflect our inner nature waiting to be re‑discovered and built upon again and again.

That all true learning is self-learning of who we ultimately are to become. That once we have awakened so that we can see beyond ourselves, then have not we found our spirits traveling the winds through eternity. This being so, could there be a more ultimate way of travel than to be found traveling with Lieh Tzu?     ##

The preface above is what I wrote in January 1996 after completing my own personal version of The Book of Lieh Tzu. As if understanding could only manifest from within, after it had traveled through me. The Book of Lieh Tzu was viewed as a primer, a book of elementary principles, for those wanting to gain understanding of the meaning of Taoism. Its contents have been used and built upon for thousands of years by precepts who wanted to learn how to follow the way of virtue.

To be able to be found in intense study, gaining a glimpse of our highest self and what that might mean. Taoism was not a stand-alone concept and was to be seen as complimentary to shamanism, Confucianism, and even to some extent Chan Buddhism as all matured together over thousands of years in China.

Something to be built upon from one generation to the next. The Tao, or Way of Virtue as it was to become known, simply became the way to awaken from the illusion we live each day and to re-discover the grace that connects us to the universe we have always known but forgotten. I wrote the following a year earlier in January 1995 as I began my own Travels with Lieh Tzu, in earnest.

Finding the Common Thread

Knowing the Way is simply coming to know what is native within ourselves. Growing up it becomes what is natural and in maturity becomes destiny.

Set your will on the aim of what is your internal truth. Outwardly knowing the highest speech is to remain quiet, just as the utmost doing is doing nothing.

Looking beyond the surface of what is brought up around you. Finding the substance to know the true way and never matching yourself against the world as you are bound to overreach your true objective.

Remain as Lieh Tzu with his own mentor Hu Tzu and not question what has yet to come forward. Just as Hu Tzu’s integrity is questioned unwittingly by the visiting shaman who ultimately flees in panic, know that your own vitality is centered only on the path you have chosen to follow. Old beings and dragons do not question where they go. They simply arrive at the place meant for them to be. Not dreaming when they sleep and with no cares when they awake. Always in the end, returning to the place of their ancestors.

Just as Chuang Tzu says that the Perfect Man breathes from his heels, the common man breathes from his throat. Be the one whose breath comes from knowing the true aims of heaven and know that immortality is now within you to come to know and find.

As Lieh Tzu left Hzu Tzu to spend three years on his farm living simply, coming to know detachment and freedom of all things, so must you. Your destiny is in the clouds with dragons. Simply doing by being.     1/23/95

Finding the common thread is ultimately about moving beyond life’s limitations, finding the spontaneity that is truly ourselves and relearning how to fly. Letting go and knowing why we are here. Adding to the wisdom of the ages and to where we will someday return and knowing this will always be enough.